How can I become a good parent?

Famous American child psychologists have accepted the invitation of the well-known website www.ivillage.com and chose among the various advice they give to their parents-customers every day, what they consider more important. The webmasters after collecting the answers – tips published them as follows:

– Try to understand what the child is telling you. The job of the parent is to find out what is behind each behavior.

– Close your mobile when you enter the house. According to Dr. Davis “the most valuable thing you can offer to your children is your attention and your time.

– Help your child express what he feels in words. Instead of saying “why did you go down the game?”, Say “did you go down your game to grab mom’s attention? I know you want to play together but you have to wait a while to change your diaper to your diaper. ” When the child finds that you are aware of what is happening to him, he feels that you are close to him and you support him.

– Throw the rhythms. Take time in what you do, explaining to the child what is happening at each step of the process and waiting for your own reaction. In this way, even a boring work of the house can become an opportunity to join with your children and make them trust you.

– Do not worry when crying. Crying is not bad. It is the way children have to deal with stress hormones. That’s why they usually feel quieter after crying. Instead of asking him to stop, explain to him that he can cry if he wants to, and that you will wait until he calms down.

– Put a brake on your effort to become the perfect mom. “The perfect parent just does not exist, so if you are trying to become a perfect mom you will end up feeling frustrated by yourself and your child,” says Susan Landon, a family therapist in Los Angeles.

-To learn to live with guilt. Grooming a child is not an easy task. It is a struggle of endurance. If you choose to have coffee with your girlfriends instead of going to your kid to see Disney’s new movie, accept it and make sure you make the next day or even … some day! Do not forget that your own happiness is just as important.

– To accept your mistakes. If you think you did something to your child you should not. You took it abruptly or you put the voices on it, make sure to calm down first and then explain to your child exactly what happened. If you want to say “sorry” when making mistakes, you should first hear it from you.

– Make sure your child develops his / her own personality. Instead of making efforts to “make” your child’s character, try to find out who he is. And accept it, even if it’s not exactly what you have in mind.

– To accept your mistakes. If you think you did something to your child you should not. You took it abruptly or you put the voices on it, make sure to calm down first and then explain to your child exactly what happened. If you want to say “sorry” when making mistakes, you should first hear it from you.

– Make sure your child develops his / her own personality. Instead of making efforts to “make” your child’s character, try to find out who he is. And accept it, even if it’s not exactly what you have in mind.

– Sleep is very important. Sleep is essential for the development of the brain, the concentration, development and rest of the child.

-Don’t try to lie to a child. Do not tell him that you are going to the playground while you are actually going to the pediatrician. Even when the truth will upset it, it is more important to know that it can always trust you, but also to be psychologically prepared for what it is going to deal with.

-An explosion of anger does not mean that you make a mistake. Remember that the child’s behavior does not always reflect your own work as parents. Even if you hit the floor in the supermarket corridor or stubbornly refuse to get out of the car in front of the world, no one thinks you are a bad mom. It can just be hungry or sleepy.

-There is stability around some things. What do we mean? The daily program, the so-called routine, provides children with security because they need to know that some things are completely predictable. The same applies to disciplinary matters. Children need to know what the rules are and they apply every time.

-Select your interventions. Think about when you should object to something and when you can let your child do what he pleases. That is, whether he will have to decide which t-shirt he will put again if he chooses to catch with his dirty hands the bread at meal time.

-We never tell a child how to feel. That is to say, we often say “you have nothing”, and have just dropped and hit. We usually do so in the hope that by degrading the importance of an event we will help the child to handle it more easily. However, we will never know what our child really feels.

-Hugs and kisses do just fine. If you want your child to feel safe, excited, and self-esteem for yourself, never forget to do four things every day: look in the eyes, embrace it, kiss it, and say ” love”.

 

 

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